just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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