It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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