i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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