Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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