I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
