You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
