what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
