I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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