We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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