im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
