So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
