I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize