if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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