Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
