Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
