Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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