he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
