Nicole vs. Life
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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