he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
