hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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