Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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