i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize