My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
