Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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