I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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