why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
