I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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