I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
MIDGETS
????
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
