You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
