Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
