i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
