im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
