yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
