the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
