I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
