I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
