I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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