I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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