Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
is wine microwaveable?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
