i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
