Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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