it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
