I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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