I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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