And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
