i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize