it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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