She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pants are for mortals
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
