What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Damn victory sex feels great
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
