we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
