its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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