just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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