omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize