You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
