You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
