I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
