I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
