Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
