i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
