If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
